Posts Tagged ‘christianity’

Whereas This is Bullshit

Tuesday, January 6th, 2009

House Resolution 847
In the House of Representatives, U. S.,
December 11, 2007.

Whereas Christmas, a holiday of great significance to Americans and many other cultures and nationalities, is celebrated annually by Christians throughout the United States and the world;

Whereas there are approximately 225,000,000 Christians in the United States, making Christianity the religion of over three-fourths of the American population;

Whereas there are approximately 2,000,000,000 Christians throughout the world, making Christianity the largest religion in the world and the religion of about one-third of the world population;

Whereas Christians and Christianity have contributed greatly to the development of western civilization;

Whereas the United States, being founded as a constitutional republic in the traditions of western civilization, finds much in its history that points observers back to its Judeo-Christian roots;

Whereas on December 25 of each calendar year, American Christians observe Christmas, the holiday celebrating the birth of their savior, Jesus Christ;

Whereas for Christians, Christmas is celebrated as a recognition of God’s redemption, mercy, and Grace; and

Whereas many Christians and non-Christians throughout the United States and the rest of the world, celebrate Christmas as a time to serve others: Now, therefore, be it
Resolved, That the House of Representatives–

(1) recognizes the Christian faith as one of the great religions of the world;

(2) expresses continued support for Christians in the United States and worldwide;

(3) acknowledges the international religious and historical importance of Christmas and the Christian faith;

(4) acknowledges and supports the role played by Christians and Christianity in the founding of the United States and in the formation of the western civilization;

(5) rejects bigotry and persecution directed against Christians, both in the United States and worldwide; and

(6) expresses its deepest respect to American Christians and Christians throughout the world.

“With the We Like Christians Resolution of 2007, Congress hereby decrees that it likes Christians.

Although this may not effect any offical change in the governance of the United States pursuant to the First Amendment of the Constitution, we nonetheless find it prudent to run out the clock writing completely worthless and borderline illegal legislation.

On the agenda for tomorrow:

1. Adding to the congressional rubber band ball
2. Counting the tiles in the Capitol Dome ceiling
3. Heads up 7up

4. Something to do with taxes, or terrorism (if time allows)”

Why I am an atheist

Wednesday, December 31st, 2008

I am a militant Atheist.

There is no god, and if you are religious, I can say with confidence that I am more certain of that fact than you are to the contrary. What, you ask, informs this assertion? A lifetime of evidence. Neither I, nor anyone else in my experience, has ever been witness to a miracle, a supernatural event, or anything unclassifiable as either banal, or a hallucination.

Believe it or not, I used to be a devout Christian, but I grew weary of pretending – of finding ever smaller regions at the periphery of my rational mind for god to occupy. As I learned about the world, he retreated farther and farther into the dark recesses of improbability, until ultimately, the alternatives to the Unmoved Mover were sufficiently plausible that I jettisoned the remnants of my faith. As LaPlace famously said “I have no need of that hypothesis.” However, my independence was hard won, and I often wished I could have spared myself the torturous process of self-emancipation, and jumped right to the conclusion.

Even today, I wish there were something in the bible that was demonstrably false, so as to discredit the Judeo-Christian god in his own terms. If only we could catch the bible with its pants down, so to speak, making a claim that no sensible person could rationalize their way out of.

Well, as it turns out, there are indeed such passages. Matthew 4:8, for example:

“Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor”

The obvious interpretation of this verse is that the earth is flat, and that there is a mountain somewhere on its surface that is sufficiently tall that anyone who stood at its summit could see the entire world. This is of course preposterous, as any 3rd grader could quickly point out, so Christians have to resort to rhetorical gymnastics to explain why their holy book would say something so patently false.

They usually begin by conceding that it is a metaphor, and then accusing you of misinterpreting it. But they shoot themselves in the foot admitting even that much, because the bible is supposedly the word of an omniscient god, who is unambiguous, and knows every tongue into which his word would ever be translated, and would presumably make it his highest order of business to make a universally interpretable work.

They also might try to invoke some backstory that is necessary to interpret the verse properly, like when rich Christians try to explain how they could get into heaven despite Jesus’ admonishment in Matthew 19:24:

“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God”

They try to explain this away by saying that there was a gate somewhere in Jerusalem called “the eye of the needle,” and camels had to duck a bit to make it through. Nevermind the sheer pointlessness of the metaphor if that were indeed true, but if Jesus were god as they claim, he would surely be aware that this could never be more than a regionally understood analogy.

We don’t need to look far for these kinds of inconsistencies jump from the page. In fact, they are usually lurking right at the surface – to find them, you only have to make minimal investigation. In fact, the most earth-shattering evidence against biblical inerrancy comes from the very story of Jesus.

Matthew 1:1-17 does a nice “begat, begat, begat” tracing David’s lineage down to Joseph, in order to validate Jesus’ messianic status, since the anointed one must be of the line of David. But that means nothing if Jesus was born of a virgin. If that isn’t clear enough, let me spell it out: if you accept the doctrine of the Immaculate Conception, then Jesus cannot be the messiah. Here, Christians do make some desperate flailings to explain that Jewish lineage is traced down the woman’s side, but that doesn’t explain away the fact that Matthew offers us the lineage of Joseph, not Mary, as proof of Jesus’ ‘Christhood’.

But even this argument glosses over the absurdity of the virgin birth itself. I forget who said it, and I am surely paraphrasing, but it’s harder to believe that a virgin can give birth than it is to believe a Jewish girl can tell a fib. The Immaculate Conception is a load of manure, as is immediately apparent if you believe in any sort of uniformitarianism.

People have been trying this excuse for centuries, I’m sure, and it has only worked once. Hell, I’m sure Bristol Palin tried it, but even Sarah (who is to MENSA what Gary Coleman is to the NBA) didn’t fall for it.

However, if you analyze the bible as the piece of historical fiction it is, it becomes apparent why the authors would take the risk of writing in such a contentious detail. As Richard Dawkins put it in The God Delusion, the authors were trying to “press the familiar hot buttons of pagan Hellenistic religions.” In other words, they were trying to gain converts. They were doing what later Christians did when they assimilated the unquestionably pagan celebrations of Easter and Christmas. Sorry kids, Christ didn’t give his life so you could get toys once a year under a tree with shiny shit hung all over it, or so a giant pastel colored were-rabbit could lay eggs with candy inside. These obviously pagan traditions date back to the time when Christians were making compromises in order to increase the appeal of their cult. And the same is true of the virgin birth. It was a deliberate and overt attempt to say to other religions of the time “hey, your dude was born of a virgin, so was ours, let’s hang out.”

In the end, it is not that hard to knock a leg out from under Christianity, or at least point out that it is just another man-made scam – like Mormonism, Scientology, or Jim Jones and the People’s Temple. But there are so many of them. Couldn’t one be right? Not likely.

The most powerful evidence against the existence of any particular god, for me, is that so many exist all over the world and have throughout history, and that the people who (have) believe(d) in them do so just as earnestly as everyone else. Which brings us to another question: why is it the lamentable case that religion is so ubiquitous?

Well frankly, faith offers powerful solace against death, which is probably one reason it is so ineradicable from our primitive meat-machine brains. We, unlike other animals, who only know they are going to die when death is imminent, must find a way to cope with the knowledge that we will someday die. This is of highest priority to the perpetuity of our species, because if we couldn’t cope, we might well spend our entire (short) lives in a state of mortal fear.

While our consciousness evolved quickly, as evidenced by the poor fit between crania and hips, so did our coping mechanism. It arose from pre-existing instincts for superstition and it stuck. It began to manipulate sentience in order to ensure its own existence, and soon it came to hold dominion over the rationality it evolved to facilitate.

Some have hypothesized that religion’s stubborn persistence and imperviousness to rational scrutiny arises from what was once an evolutionarily advantageous trait, and that religion is therefore just a by-product of a useful adaptation. Faced with the dangers of everyday life, and a rather frail biology, early human children couldn’t have been afforded the luxury of trial and error in a hostile environment, and so they would have been selected to unquestioningly heed the cautionary advice of their elders when such advice was available. Important suggestions like “stay away from that cave, there is a bear inside,” or “don’t eat that berry, it will make you sick,” surely saved lives, but when the drive to obey got hijacked by “sacrifice a goat on the full moon, or the rains won’t come,” or “cut off the skin at the end of your male children’s penises, or suffer the wrath of Yahweh” we suddenly had a problem on our hands. The indelibility of today’s faith may be very well be because our brains still treat it as a life or death issue, regardless of how silly it is.

One of the odd facts of religious silliness is that the longer it stays around, the more legitimate it becomes. It builds up momentum, and like gonorrhea, if you don’t catch it early, your dick is forfeit. What we atheists need to do (I am assuming that I have successfully effaced any faith you may have had, and that you’re now with me on this one…), is build up sufficient momentum in the opposite direction. As Dawkins is frequent to point out, we already make up a respectable chunk of the population – in America, ten times the number of Jews – but we are as of yet an untapped demographic politically.

We need to call people out when the make stupid assertions, like that god should be put in charge of Homeland Security. This is the kind of thing that we should consider contemptible, dangerous, irrational, juvenile, and such irresponsible and inappropriate political behavior as to warrant the end of a person’s career. We need to practice Sam Harris’ “conversational intolerance,” and when George Bush says his foreign policy is dictated by god, we need to say, “why not Zeus, or Hadad, Osiris, Shiva, or, as your actions most often seem to indicate, Mars?”

We need to encourage a new kind of discourse – one of critical thought and challenging dogma: of science. Religious apologists are quick to point out that scientists are fundamentalists in their own right, but this is a fallacy. Science is necessarily the antithesis of fundamentalism because its characterized by ongoing self criticism and reevaluation, while religious fundamentalism thrives in the realm of dogma. The most fervent believers are always found in the most insular communities, and this isolation tends to foster religious solipsism.

I have made the observation from personally transformative experience that the more individuals learn about one another, and about one another’s beliefs, the less likely they are to subscribe exclusively to any one ideology or set of values. This is what is so alarming about the growing trend among evangelical Christians to home-school their children, and to insulate themselves against challenging viewpoints.

We need to open up a new dialogue in which nothing in sacred. Douglas Adams, author of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy defines dogma as follows:

“ ‘Here is an idea or notion you are not allowed to say anything bad about; you’re just not. Why not? – because you’re not!’ ”

These are exactly the rules we must refuse to play by.

If we slowly chip away at this edifice, I am sure we can be done with it eventually, although I admit that we would still be left with that big question mark at the end. I am still looking hard for an answer to that, but I will leave you with the modicum of consolation to which I currently cling: whatever the end may bring, I have experienced it before, because there was a time when I was not.

All the lonely pplz, where do they all come from?

Wednesday, December 17th, 2008

I have been thinking a lot lately about where I came from, and I realized there is a huge problem with Christianity. Where do people come from? I mean, our ’souls’? The obvious reason for the lack of explanation is that religion is entirely a construction of man, and men are far more preoccupied with where they are going when they die than where they were before they were born, but let’s just humor the idea for a moment.

It’s possible, I’m sure, to come up with some half-baked explanation that fits with the bible, but the fact remains that it just doesn’t say. That’s right, the book of infinite wisdom, and everything you would ever need to know, provides no answer. I think that we should let that sink in.

We could imagine, as I am sure Christians do, that souls are created at the moment of conception, but then where do all the spontaneously aborted fetuses go? Heaven, or hell? They surely haven’t had the chance to sin yet, so they must go to heaven, right? If so, abortion should be OK, right? Christian women should be happy to abort their babies if it guarantees that they will go to heaven. One sin, for which they can be forgiven, can be their child’s ticket to everlasting bliss. Seems like a worthy sacrifice to me.

The alternative to this is of course that the soul is created the body some time later in the pregnancy, but then their whole ‘moment of conception’ pro-life stand is bullshit.

The other explanation is that we exist before, and that god assigns us a body. If that is so, then our souls have to be somewhere, heaven or hell, before conception. Nothing leaves hell, and unless you are a Catholic, heaven is the only alternative, so we have all experienced heaven before. Following that line of logic, since god is omniscient, he knows before we are born if, at conception, he is sentencing a sinless being to hell. Which makes him a pretty cruel motherfucker to go through with it. If we all stop having kids, however, then they can’t go to hell, and when we die, every family member we would ever have would meet us graciously at the gates of heaven. We could forgo the apocalypse, and all join god’s army, and single-handedly destroy sin. You may argue that that would be tampering with the will of god, but if anything ever happens at all, it must be the will of god. God allowed Hitler. In fact, me saying this right now is the will of god.

Shit! How easy it is to slip into this nonsense.

The point is, where we come from says a lot more about metaphysics than where we are going, and we are left to imagine. The bible explains nothing — not like we didn’t already know that — , but the only explanations we have are sheer fantasy, concocted on the spot to fill in the gaps that the religion has left, and if you are religious, you know damn good and well that, as you were reading this, you were trying desperately to fill in the gaps.

I have the answer for you though: religion is fake. There is no reason to believe in any of it, other than being indoctrinated at a young age, and having a mind so weak that you cannot cope with death, so that you have to make believe you are going to live forever. Where do we come from? Nowhere. And we are soon to be going back. If you can’t wrap your head around the impermanence and inconsequentiality of your life, then you are arrogant indeed.

Merry Christmas.

An argument from their side

Sunday, November 9th, 2008

I will begin by disclosing the fact that I do not believe that the bible is worth consultation as a source of moral authority, but as some atheists are wont to do, I am going suspend disbelief just long enough to use it to make an argument to the faithful from their own canon.

We all remember the story of the woman who was to be stoned to death for adultery, and whom Jesus spared from that fate with the famous “let he who is without sin cast the first stone” speech. Most people also know that this story is that it was an attempt by the pharisees to discredit the teachings of Jesus.

Jesus claimed to believe in the old testament, which, barbaric as it often was, called for the woman to be put to death. However, by his own teachings, she should be spared. The pharisees wanted to catch him in this contradiction, and knew that if he agreed she should be executed in concordance with the bible, his teachings would be invalidated, and he could be discredited. But if he said she should be spared, he could be called a heretic for disagreeing with the holy books.

In the end, it is made very clear that Jesus opposes enforcement of any biblical injunction against unholy sexual practice if the accusers are sinful themselves.

It should therefore be apparent to followers of Jesus that we as men shall not deny rights, be they to life or marriage, to those who flaunt the carnal prohibitions of the bible.

Scary

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

Can anybody really take this seriously?
I love the recurring image of the San Francisco skyline, as if it’s the Sodom and Gomorrah of gay.

The Game

Sunday, October 19th, 2008

When I was in college, we used to play a game. It was called “The Game,” oddly enough.

There were but two rules in The Game: if you know the game exists, you are playing The Game, and if you think about The Game, you are losing The Game. This meant that when you learned about The Game, you began playing, and the longer you spent not thinking about The Game, the more you won The Game. Pretty silly, huh?

There were a few people who were content to be perpetual losers, and they made it their task to sneak “The Game” into every conversation, just to make the people they were with lose. Sometimes they would show up to class early, and write the words “The Game” in small letters in the corner of the board, so that anyone paying attention in class would see it, and lose.

The whole affair was funny for a while. There would be someone in class who would remember, and curse quietly to themselves, which would in turn remind other people, and soon after there would be a wave of whispered profanities rippling among the class.

The more popular (or at least, the more widely known) it became, the more losers there were, and the more obsessed people became with it. Unfortunately, the more you obsessed about it the more you lost. It was a trap for your mind.

We eventually grew out of it, I suppose. I can sit here writing about The Game and not feel like a royal loser, so I must have.

Where am I going with this? The Game is a lot like religion; it takes hold in a spot in your mind, and the more you think about it, the stronger it becomes. It sends out roots, and constantly reinforces that you are “playing the game.” In extreme cases, people stop doing everything but playing The Game. The sad part is that the rules of religion eventually require you to shut out anything that might put the game to an end.

If you don’t believe me, look at Calvinism. Now that that movement is over, we can analyze it objectively. This religion was specifically designed to be a trap for your mind. It said that since God knows everything, he also knows whether or not you are damned or saved, so when you are born, he has already decided whether you are going to heaven or hell. If you are going to hell, there is nothing you can do to save yourself, but if you are going to heaven, there are things you can do to fuck it up. At any moment, you can ruin it for eternity, so you better believe.

What greater of a penalty could there be than eternal damnation? That is seed that is planted, and it is a terrifying prospect. Fortunately, Calvinism offers the solution, if you join their cult, and live the life of an ascetic, you can ensure that you won’t ruin your chances of entry into heaven.

This isn’t too different from the way most religions work. They hold some terrible axe above your head, which most sensible people fear, and then they hijack your rationality. Ingeniously built into most of them is another failsafe, that if you come across any evidence that might challenge them, you have to shut it out, because if you even consider it, you are losing The Game.

They are like viruses. They implant themselves in your brain, and they take over. They become almost impossible to eradicate from the body of the host without killing them (9/11 for example).

They have institutions of propaganda that are designed to reinforce them over and over again. We have seen throughout history that people are remarkably susceptible to brainwashing of other types, and religion is no exception. It has been said that every time you repeat something, you make a copy of it in your brain, and it is therefore no wonder religions become so terrifically powerful, because they copy themselves over and over in your mind. I mean, just think about rosary beads for a minute. If you do something that challenges the religion, you have to repeat a prayer again and again, and The Game’s hold on your psyche gets even stronger. Or take Islam for example, which requires you to pray to the Kaaba a certain number of times a day. It only makes sense that religions would have developed reinforcement tactics like these, because if they hadn’t, they probably wouldn’t have lasted as long as they have in a world in which everything points to the fact that they are wrong.

In the end, just like a virus, they turn their host into a propagator of their seed. Most religions have some sort of conversion component, wherein you gain more points by spreading the word.

The really interesting thing is that they evolve, just like living organisms. If there is anything that threatens them, like the theory of evolution, heliocentrism, or other religions, they adapt. They create new dogma, like creationism (a response to the development of the scientific method) to ensures that The Game goes on.

The end result is people who are controlled exclusively by the The Game. They abandon rationality entirely (fundamentalist Christians, Scientologists, Cults), they give their lives (Islam, Christianity), they cut themselves off from their family and friends who aren’t members (Jehovah’s Witnesses, Mormons), they hurt other people (Jihadist Muslims, Christian Inquisitors), and they do shit that is just plain silly (Catholics, Jews).

Religions are just versions of “The Game” that have found a way to exist for thousands of years. Since our strength is theirs, the smarter we get, the smarter they get. When exposed to a new environment, the functional parts of the faith are encouraged, where anachronisms - like stoning people to death - are pruned out so as to preserve the integrity of the whole. In the Bible for example, we ignore all of the stuff about animal husbandry, because most of us are no longer keepers of livestock. We ignore all of the stipulations about the kinds of robes you should wear, because we don’t wear robes anymore.

Unfortunately, this pruning process will continue into the information age and beyond. As the world becomes less and less friendly to religion, religion will only become more fit, because the same minds that are creating all of these wonderful new sciences and technologies are still beholden to the game. As fast as our rational minds think up challenges to the game, they will find ways to rationalize a way for the game to go on.

Dammit. I can’t deny it. I just spent the last two hours losing bigtime.